This had never happened before. I couldn't get out of bed. The heaviness restrained me to the mattress. My body would not move. What happened overnight? The previous day was filled with an inviting new moon and solar eclipse, the love of class study, bodywork practice, participating in a circle of women, and visiting friends for the Oscar Ceremony 2017.
I used sheer mental force to instruct my limbs to lift me out of bed. It was all happening in slow motion but...I know how to love myself--it's what I teach! "I'll go to the gym. That will work it through." Never was the group workout so difficult. Molasses simply does not move quickly nor did its sweetness give me a feel-better hit.
"Fine. I'll spend liquid capital in exchange for an organic pedicure and manicure." I'm sure the pedicurist wondered if I was waiting for the return of my deceased loved ones, as I stared into the far reaches of the room. Nope--they all no showed. I reached out to the ultimate source for the cause or resolution of this state of being--Facebook. I received lots of helpful advice and went to bed.
My sister has an uncanny knowing for when to reach out to me and invited me to lunch the next day. Since healthy eating had not returned me to homeostasis, I indulged in some WHITE carbs and FULL-FAT dressing. By Wednesday afternoon, I was feeling really desperate. "Just do it, Melanie. Reach out to a friend and tell her that you are sinking in deep waters." More WHITE carbs.
I read for most of Thursday, from a once-a-year novel to a fourth read of The Power of Now. This lead me to Eckhart Tolle's new book about his life story and life lessons of peace, happiness, and enlightenment. Friday and Saturday evenings were filled with more friends...and more WHITE carbs. I was definitely craving energy.
Today is Sunday, and the veil has lifted. The sun is shining. I went deep into the heaviness this past week. I got a lot of practice at loving myself. I spent extra time in meditation practice and pulled a few extra oracle cards. One in particular caught my attention--"Prayer: If you're feeling off track, cool your thoughts. Allow yourself to be serene and open yourself to Sprit's guidance to bring you back into alignment with your desires. The key here is that we must only pray to be of service." God, how I pray to be of service.